We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
