i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
