I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It all started with a game of naked twister.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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