I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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