I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
