I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
