Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
