i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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