"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
