nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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