While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
