Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
