I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
did i just pee glitter
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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