he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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