Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
