hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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