ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
