I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
