I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
