I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
