I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
well you can't waste a boner
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
