If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
