U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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