Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is Oprah even human
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
