so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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