wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
