I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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