yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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