Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
