i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
