This gyro tastes like lonliness
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
