Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
