when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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