Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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