U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
