he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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