K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
