I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
