Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
