Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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