Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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