i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
