Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
