She's JV to your varsity
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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