Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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