all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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