'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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