Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
