That's intense
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
