dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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