why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
