I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
