Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
